Tantrums … The Terrible Twos Begin Before Two
Arching of the back … limbs going limp … perhaps there is some kicking and head banging … we experience these trying occurrences with our toddler from time to time. It helps to know that every parent deals with their child throwing a temper-tantrum at least once.
As embarrassing as a toddler’s tantrum can be when it is taking place in public, or just plain exhausting when it happens at home, it is important to keep in mind that there is a reason that your young child is having this meltdown (and it is not your mother getting you back for the trying times you may have put her through … ).
It is quite common to see tantrums begin anywhere between 10-24 months. As older infants & young toddlers begin to explore their environment, they are learning to do more on their own. This sense of “independence” is great for a child - helps to promote positive self esteem. However, it can also be frustrating for a young child who wants control in a situation but isn’t ready for it yet.
My daughter Josie, who is now 21 months had her first tantrum around 12 months (she was a head-banger). Tantrums for her don’t seem to happen too frequently, although I can often tell before they are going to occur. Josie is coming into her own & is very proud and happy when she can do things by herself. There are times when she can’t reach something, or wants an item that I can not let her play with … these are times where I see her getting frustrated & need to work with her (one on one) to teach her how to cope with her emotions. Often times too, she will melt down when she is tired, or hungry. There are days where we do not begin running our errands until late morning & this will coincide with lunch time.
Learning what might trigger your child’s tantrum, will help you to be able to deal with it in a positive way - or maybe stop it before it starts. If you know that you will be out during your child’s lunch time or snack time - bring food & drink with you. Allow your child to help put groceries away or assist in unloading the dishwasher by putting the plastic ware in the cupboard … Josie enjoys helping and when I let her bring (light weight) groceries into the kitchen, or take the plastic bowls out of the dishwasher I am not only avoiding a meltdown, but encouraging Josie to help out & promoting positive self-esteem.
A toddler’s mood can be quite trying on a parent. However, keep in mind that your toddler is learning how to cope with the emotions that they are feeling & at times can be overwhelming for them. Speak calmly, talk your child through the episode, offer suggestions to help take their mind off of the tantrum. If talking to your child isn’t helping, just step away for a few moments - let your child know that you are there for them when they are done yelling, or crying. Stay calm, be reassuring, and keep your arms open for when your child is ready to take in a hug.
There maybe times, where as a parent you need to step back from your child who is melting down, and just count to ten. Parents’ nerves can become frazzled too & so long as you are able to recognize that - you know to just take a step back and count to ten. As a mom, it helps me when my daughter is having a meltdown, to remind myself, “this is a teachable moment … my daughter is learning from my example”.
There are many resources out there for parents dealing with young children & tantrums. Remember though, every parent deals with tantrums to some degree … so if you are in public when one occurs just relax & know we all have been there
letosi