Mommy Wars … are we really at *War* with each other?

According to the article Working Mother’s: Information from Answers.com: ”As of the early 2000s, more mothers in the United States are working than ever before. In the mid-1990s, 58 percent of mothers with children under the age of six, and nearly 75 percent of those with children between the ages of six and 18 were part of the paid labor force. The number of single mothers with full-time year-round jobs increased from 39 percent in 1996 to 49 percent in 2002. A growing percentage of married women living with their husbands work as well: 40 percent worked full time in 1992, compared with 16 percent in 1970.”

Growing up in the 1970’s and 1980’s, it was the norm for women in my family to work. My great-grandmother was a nurse, my grandmother worked in retail before working for the state of NY, and my mother is a nurse. I was brought up by strong women who were career & family minded & to maintain the lifestyle that my parents wanted for my sisters & I it was necessary for both parents to work. The workforce today is filled with women who leave their jobs to go home to their other job, as a mother. This is a choice for many families, and for some this is how it must be (for what ever their reasons).

However, simply because a family chooses to live on one or two incomes is entirely a family decision. The idea that there is a WAR taking place between working mothers & stay-at-home mothers (SAHM) is ridiculous! The statistics are interesting though, showing a slight increase in those choosing to stay at home with their children: US Census Press Release: *5.6 million Number of stay-at-home moms in 2006. Census

*55% Among mothers with infant children in 2004, the percentage in the labor force, down from a record high of 59 percent in 1998. Census Fertility

*729,040 Number of child care centers across the country in 2004. These include nearly 72,000 centers employing close to 780,000 workers and another 657,000 self-employed persons or other companies without paid employees. Many mothers turn to these centers to help juggle motherhood and career. County Business Patterns Nonemployer Statistics

I can only speak from my personal experience, however it was a collaborative decision between my husband & myself whether I was going to return to the workforce after Josie was born. We decided that I would be a SAHM. We are fortunate that we are able to live well on one income, even with the sacrifices that we have had to make. This is a lifestyle that suits my husband and myself. It was difficult as a woman & mother, to make the choice between staying at home full time with my children, and going back to work. We had to think about our finances, and my emotional well-being. Being in the workforce for over 10 years and then just leaving it, was a huge transition for me (but one that I like to think I have adjusted well too).

Trends change from year to year, and every year we read the statistics as to how these trends are changing. When it comes to Working Mommies vs. Stay At Home Mommies-what ever WAR we are in is probably just a battle we are having within ourselves - “Do I want to return to the workforce?” …”I love my job & my kids” … “How can I be the best mommy I can be? ….”

That is the most important question we can ask ourselves, “How can I be the best mommy I can be?”. For some women, balancing between working outside of the home & being a mom is what they need in order to be happy. For other women, simply balancing the job of being a SAHM makes them happy - happy women, mothers, & wives.

The media has made up this imaginary feud between working mothers & stay at home mothers. Be happy with who you are and the decisions that you have made for you and your family. Being confident in your choices, taking time for both yourself & family - whether you work outside of the home or not - makes you a great mom!