Positive Discipline & Your Toddler

We’ve all been there (& if you haven’t yet, you will be): hopping over the duplo blocks, bumping our legs on the end-table, and leaping over the coffee table yelling, “NOOOOOOO”! … to stop our inquisitive & spirited toddler from getting into all sorts of mischief.

However, more times that not there are other words & phrases that we can use as we are disciplining our children. Infants and toddlers need to explore their environment - it is essential for their development.

Between 6-12 months infants understand the meaning of the word “no”, and toddlers will test limits that parents set. Just as infants and toddlers are exploring their environment, and pushing their boundaries - parents need to take an active role & foster positive discipline & positive redirection. Reserve the word ”no” for those situations where there isn’t time to sit & talk about why your child shouldn’t do something (for ex.: your child is about to step into the street, is reaching for a sharp object, or is hitting their younger sibling on the head … etc…).

There are moments when my husband & I leave our laptops within reach of our daughter Josie & she can be a mischievous little toddler too. She’ll slowly inch her way over to where the computer is, stand next to it, and wait for us to look at her before she reaches over to open it up with lightening speed & begin pounding away at the keys. When we catch her doing this (let me start by saying - we recognize that as parents we created this situation by leaving the computers within her reach & Josie is simply exploring her environment) - we will say, ”Josie that is mommy’s computer. Please do not touch it. Where is Josie’s computer??” & we will find her computer (or redirect with another toy or object she can play with).

With older infants & toddlers redirection is key. There are times where redirection doesn’t work, and your toddler will have a meltdown. That is OK … just remember that you will both get through it. Give your child a minute or two to calm down, talk calmly to them, redirect to something else, &/or get down & just give them a hug.

Ten Golden Rules of Positive Parenting”Being a positive parent means nurturing your child’s growth and development in the context of a supportive, respectful relationship,” says Dr. Glasser. Positive parents do this, she explains, by setting appropriate limits, practicing patience, understanding child development, seeing the humor in life, and encouraging and supporting their children.

Children, infants & toddler included, pick up on how you are feeling and will often times mirror your behavior. So when redirecting or disciplining your child, be aware of what & how you are speaking to them; Speak simply - this not only fosters a positive relationship between you & your child, but will also foster healthy language development.

We each parent in our own way & as parents we know our child best. Be confident in the choices that you make & keep in mind that children are looking to us for guidance and security - no matter what they do, they should always know that they are loved unconditionally.