Seperation Anxiety & The Toddler Years
Monday morning & it is the first day of “school” for Josie (it is actually a structured mother’s morning out program) and we are all excited!
The weekend leading up to Josie’s first day, we talked about the children that she would see in her class, the theme that they would talk about, and the projects that they had planned! Josie was excited about everything that we talked about, which in turn made me excited; However in the back of my mind I knew what was going to happen as soon as I had to leave her.
Separation anxiety is completely normal & varies in degree depending on the child. Separation anxiety generally emerges around nine months of age and peaks around 12-24 months. Separation Anxiety in Young Children
Toddlers who have had very few experiences away from their primary caregiver usually experience the most separation anxiety. As with my daughter Josie, she & her brother are with mom just about everyday/all day. Both of my children have experienced separation anxiety, with strangers, friends of our family, and even with my husband - their father.
Keep in mind that this is a normal part of development and reluctance to be separated from one’s caregiver is a normal, healthy response in young children and shows the development of healthy attachment.
There are some things you can do to help ease your young child into a new situation:
- Plan a transition time: try not to leave your child in a new situation with out first introducing the people/place to them first
- Talk about where they are going & who they are going to see: make this a very positive & exciting conversation
- Say goodbye & leave: this is the hardest part, however I have witnessed parents that have said good bye to their child & did not leave. This can confuse the child & only prolong the anxiety - it is a great idea to spend time w/ your child in the new situation, however when you tell your child you are leaving - you need to do just that
- Remind your child that you are coming back
- Allow your child to bring a special toy or security item with them
Check out the links below for more information on young children & separation anxiety: