The Woman The Wife The Mother … Another Year Older

Thirty-five years. I’ve hit the thirty-five year mark, and with that I have this offbeat feeling:  I’ve rounded that curve of life & I still can’t see what exactly is ahead.   As my friends climb with me, this perpetual hill of life, I cheer them on & remind them that life is about how you feel & what you are accomplishing.  However, on this particular climb I have been pummeled with the realization that time is tick-tick-ticking by … MY clock is ticking …    Is it still acceptable to listen to punk-rock music, college radio, and get wild after dark?!     “Getting Wild After Dark” has changed a bit.  Instead of dancing the night away, disappointed when the bartender yells, “last call!”, and trying to decide if I’m taking the boy home or not - it is now a quiet night at home with a bottle of wine or sitting at a local restaurant taking pleasure in outdoor seating & live music.    I know who I am taking home.  He is the love of my life & I have three little ones just like him at home.    The desire for another tattoo is still there, and I still fancy a nose ring. Admiring local art, and local scenery is something that I take much delight in.     A clock has embedded its self under my skin. Other wants & desires have surfaced;  I wasn’t quite sure of them at first, but the yearning has only grown.   Once upon a time I knew where I wanted to be.  To end up.  I am not there.  Instead I’ve landed on another shore - thriving, living & loving …     Thirty-five years.  Still climbing.

The twenty’s a mere glimmer, a spark noticed only when remembering;  thirty has come and gone;  the few numbers between the thirty and thirty-five have happened in slow motion - yet flown by.   Life is good.     Nostalgic.  Reflective.  Contented.  Thinking about many of the experiences that have brought me to this point in my life … it would be interesting to know, that if just one situation or feeling had been different - would the outcome that is today be any different?  I’ve heard Curiosity killed the cat.   I still have Ani DiFranco on my “most often played” track … I still think about the next tattoo that I will get … I enjoy vampire stories as much now as I did then … tick tock tick tock tick …    Reminiscence.  Wistful.  Drunk on life & a little of the Cline.      Life is good. & I’m 35.